i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
