When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
