sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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