So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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