Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
