he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
