i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
