my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
