Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
