Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
