Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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