rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
