definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
