I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i came on her dog
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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