what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
