pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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