super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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