Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
