Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
