when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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