yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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