Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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