Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
