You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
