I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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