I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
