Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
