all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
