i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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