i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
