Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
