I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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