As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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