VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
