Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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