you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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