I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
