new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
