she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
