some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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