It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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