i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize