Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
