where am i from again
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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