Midget sex pt 2 tonight
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
