He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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