Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
