No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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