As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
