conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
