In the future we'll all be gay
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
